from the corners of my mind...

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

mood: reminiscing
listening to: innocent - our lady peace

this is what it felt like.

you look up. nothing registers. no one registers.
and then, a face. and for a moment, your mind is blank.

he is a stranger from absence, and yet familiar. but you can't place where you've seen him before.

then comes recognition. and for a hundreth of a second, your heart reaches out in a warm welcoming embrace. but in the next hundreth of that same second, it recoils. shrinking immediately from the recollection of all the moments passed. and you hope, and pray, that your stoic smile does not betray you.

in the next moment, he is gone. again. he has left you, again. the floodgates of your mind are now open, and everything that you had so carefully packed away in that tiny little box in that remote corner of your mind, is unleashed once more.

and you ask yourself, why? why, oh why? not why he left - no. but why do you now have to drag your feet through the rubbish and try to pack it all away, again? and then you start asking question after question. questions that concern you, no longer.

it feels like a betrayal, even though you know it never was.

your heart races. you're at a loss for words.

what do you do then? you turn, walk the other way, and try never, ever, to look back.

this, is what it felt like.

***

shall one laugh and cry for the world to see?
or hide behind the face of serenity?
for many meanings a fold, within the spoken word
and many a more, within those unheard.

-03:06, May 3rd, 2007-

so it remains, with those unsaid,
that with a broken heart, you've duly paid.
if life is a tragedy, to those who feel,
then before time and God, be prepared to kneel.
for you are not your own, you've been bought at a price.
fool yourself not, that you alone would suffice.
spoken or not, all you need to say is this,
please be merciful, please.
***

like the moving of the tide,
like the change from day to night.
the hours turn to days,
and the memories fade away.
then dusk turns to dawn,
and you breathe in the early morn.
like the slipping of the sand,
through the grip of your own hands.
stretch your soul into a yawn,
lift the halo you so love to adorn.
guard your heart for that uphill climb,
and forget that autumn in summertime.
remember the moving of the tide,
remember that day will give way to night.

-00:17, May 31st, 2007-

***

dear l,

would be more than happy to help you with the photos if you need any. being a smoker, i'm always equipped with a lighter.

=)

hugs*

***

posted @ 00:23

3 Comments:

At 03:59, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember the day giving way to night.
The cool calming surrender from the blight,
shielding hope from feelings contrite,
but morning came suddenly with so much harsh light.
So how does one release the ties that bind?
Things of the heart but not of the mind.
Memories may fade, yet we would still find,
they lay dormant, just lurking behind.
For time does yield, and time does heal,
but time does kill, and time does steal;
Maybe life shouldn't be lived to forget,
instead should just be remembered without regret...

- J H

 
At 11:16, Blogger j said...

wah boss...

you make me not wanna write my paltry stuff anymore lah...

it pales in comparison....PALES I TELL U!!!

arrgghh!!

 
At 14:37, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lol, I didn't mean it that way. :) It's just one of the things I've had practise with for years now...just thought i'd reply with some musings of my own. ^^(noo...macho reputation slipping awayyy!!)

 

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