mood: bbllearrghhh...
listening to: better together - jack johnson
i'm not well equipped to understand the male psyche. have never been, probably never will. but i suppose the same can be said vice versa. i often find myself stretched between two opposing viewpoints, and refusing (or rather, unable to) choose either way. so let me open this question to the floor:
would you:
a. continue to put every effort you have into a friendship (which pretty much equates to placing yourself in a pretty vulnerable situation) because you feel it's worth it, despite receiving little or no recipocration at all time and again?; or
b. say f*ck it, i deserve better than this.
see, for me, taking point b. would be setting myself up to be a pretty selfish and bitter person in the long run (cos it takes quite a bit of grit and anger for me to walk away), whilst taking point a. would seem pretty stupid as well. but then again, you can't always wait for the other person to make the first move. if that was the case, nothing would ever be resolved. and i'd also rather walk away only after knowing that i had given it my all, and not let pride get in the f*cking way. but then, what good is there in knowing that, when at the end of the day, you feel ill-used anyway?
i find it hard to strike a balance between the two extremes. why? because i like the black and the white and i don't like the grey.
i'm also feeling lousy because i am approaching a turning point in my life and i don't know where i want to go.
*gah...
well, enough griping.
snippets of the weekend:
dinner at food foundry was good. we were all well stuffed. it definitely lived up to its "very reasonably priced" reputation...so much so that the guys in general all had two main courses each, in addition to one and a half starters, drinks and some cake (each!). some hits and misses where the food was concerned but generally okay. we're definitely going back for more =)
adjourned to finnegan's in hartamas for drinks. i had myself a pint of guiness... haven't had one in a looooonnnnggggg time, so that was yummy =) not to mention it cost me 2/3rds of what i paid for my dinner (which included 2 starters, one main, two drinks and some cake mind you).
conversations during the weekend extended to the following:
"you're straight-forward, but not honest"
i need to leave because this place has nothing left to offer me
"asian men lack conviction"
"that changes a lot of things... that bastard!"
show me sincerity and i'll show you who i really am.
on other fronts, i made it onto the I.A.F.G. pool team! (even if only as a reserve player hah!) had a great lunch at "the bulldog" in hartamas on saturday with sue and sook cheng. bangers and mash rock!... ah... fond memories of cheap english pub food from my good 'ol bristol days...
ok time for bed...
niteyo...
1 Comments:
I vote for b.
it doesn't make me a selfish person
we can only do so much..
there are other more deserving ppl out there.. worthy of my attention.
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