mood: sleeeepppy.....yyaaAAWWnnNNnnn....zzzz....
listening to: you can't always get what you want - the rolling stones

londale elyuss says: ola

j.o.l.y.n. says: yo

londale elyuss says: whatcha up to?

j.o.l.y.n. says: nothing much. u?

londale elyuss says: moody.

j.o.l.y.n. says: how come?

londale elyuss says: dunno... it happens occasionally. just ... moody.

j.o.l.y.n. says: oh okiiee

londale elyuss says: i think loneliness is getting to me. funny that...

j.o.l.y.n. says: learn from pat

londale elyuss says: doesn't work that way for melah...i wish i could be as self content as he is...really i wish i could.

j.o.l.y.n. says: no harm learning new habits

londale elyuss says: at times i just don't want to care.

j.o.l.y.n. says: hehehe

londale elyuss says: yet... no matter how many people i surround myself with, i still feel alone.

j.o.l.y.n. says: not until you find THE ONE. lol.

londale elyuss says: the one? i don't think it's that. i just think that there's no way past it. save to accept it.

j.o.l.y.n. says: hrm

londale elyuss says: what i mean by my loneliness lies also in the fact that every human is unique...that kind of loneliness...

j.o.l.y.n. says: yupyup

londale elyuss says: i'd never find another me. *

j.o.l.y.n. says: and if you choose to reveal only a part of yourself to different groups of people, you can never quite be yourself completely

londale elyuss says: hmm...

j.o.l.y.n. says: and hence, that would isolate you to some degree, no matter who you're with

londale elyuss says: that is refreshingly insightful.

j.o.l.y.n. says: ah but of course...it is me, the blind bat. :P

londale eyluss says: I was looking for those words but i couldn't quite get them out. so then...how would you be able to be yourself completely? but to yourself?

j.o.l.y.n. says: what's the point in being yourself in the company of yourself???

londale eyluss says: sadly, that's the only person you can completely be yourself with...yourself..

j.o.l.y.n. says: yup, but it serves no purpose in making you feel any less lonely

londale elyuss says: exactly...therefore...a paradox...sigh...

j.o.l.y.n. says: and aren't we all walking contradictions anyway

londale elyuss says: true dat...