sometimes i wish i could cling on to every bit of my failing memory, to relive and grasp the same moments, be it the deliriously happy, the bitterly heartbreaking, the insanely hilarious, or even those in the throws of anger. why? because these moments are the ones that have defined me.

but the truth of the matter is, they do slip away, gradually eroded by time.

time. what a harsh teacher. yet sometimes, it's the only mercy you get.

my idealistic notions dance to a different tune from what reality dishes out on a daily basis. and a lot of the time, it would be so tempting to submit to what may very well appear to be the easier way out - look out for no one but no.1 (i.e. me).

but this defence mechanism of building a bitter wall is no laughing matter. from what i've observed of late, it is no easy feat to undo. and for every time that the barriers are let down, even the tiniest bit, and you are disappointed yet again (not a definite, but with human nature as it is, this is more likely than not), immediate refuge behind these walls is saught. left unattended over time, you will find yourself walled in, and everyone else, locked out.

what is left then, but a life not worth living?