***

ever had this feeling of knowing that you're heading down a path that will eventually lead you to become an ignorantly self-assured hypocritical sell-out? i.e. the very person you never wanted to be because you had all these ideals about doing the right thing, being the good person, the one who valued more than the glitz and glam and opinions of people you don't really actually care to please, but do because they have somehow crept their way into becoming the people who define who you are, a testament not only of your existence but that you actually made something of it, even if at the end of the day, you know somewhere in your subconscious that all of it counts for nothing because you've become precisely that - an ignorantly self-assured hypocritical sell-out?

***

elsewhere, my official last day at work is fast approaching. it will be exactly four years since the day i stepped foot into the firm.

ah yes.

young, ambitious, driven, motivated, optimistic

*four years*

haggard, burnt out, tired, jaded and cynical

i will miss the firm and everything else that came along with it, including the long hours and bitching about it =)

but i know a break is due.

time to find jo-lyn again.